Off topic but relevant – depression

So, if anyone has actually been reading this blog (don´t worry, I won´t fault you if you haven´t) I suffer from chronic depression (since many years now), but most days I manage to avoid falling too deep into the abyss. When you feel low everyday, you kind of have to develop the mental tools to steer you right, if only temporarily, or things will eventually take a turn for the worse. However, situation at work has finally forced me to take a sickleave to try to sort myself out, and when I say forced – management literally told me to go get sickleave.

I was hoping I could find some inspiration to work on my game, but I haven´t been able to focus much at all these last two days. It´ll come, because this is what I want to do more than anything. Today I will try to watch some Godot tutorials I´ve missed, as watching other people´s workflow is always an inspirational revelation to me. Sometimes the best way to try is to stop trying for awhile and wait for the trying to come to you.

Incidentally, depression has (as it occasionally does) been in the limelight lately, and I just want to chime in with these words:

Dealing with people who suffer from depression is hard, no one is going to blame you for feeling that way, but mental illness is not an infectious disease – you´re not going to catch it if you give me a hug to try to cheer me up.  If you don´t manage to cheer me up the first time, don´t stop trying – depressed people tend to think that such gestures are fleeting – prove us wrong.

Talk to me, but don´t patronize – don´t feel like you have to ask me how I feel, if it comes up it comes up, but also don´t ignore me because you “don´t know what to do”.

You know how to talk to other people, you used to know how to talk to me, I´m no differen´t as a person now, except that I´m sad. If you know what I´m interested in, talk to me about that, like you would otherwise. It´s amazing how people who had no problem finding talking themes before you got depressed suddenly run out of things to say. There are very few people who get happier when feeling ignored. Ignored people disappear into themselves. No conversation is insignificant. If you stop talking to me, the voices in my head take over – the ones that say “What´s the point?”, or “See, no one cares about a loser?”.

Don´t listen to people who say “Don´t waste your time with him. The only one who can help him is himself!”

And last, but not least,

don´t tell people that they´re only unhappy because they want to be. That´s not how illnesses work.

Have a good one,

/Ape

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Written by Ape

I always wanted to do something creative, but just never got around to doing more than drawing and write down ideas. This site is my way of finally doing something with those ideas.

1 comment on “Off topic but relevant – depression”

  1. By Marika Reply

    It is good you open up to people about your feelings and how they can approach you. Many people are to scared of how to react to someone who is depressed or have issues and rather ignore and avoid them. The best is to show you care about someone , listen or talk to them about anything not just the depression, make them feel they noticed and appreciated , just give a hug and say you care. I’m always here for you my little brother. I am proud of you how you have handled living and work abroad so many years and managed to handle your depressions and your ascbergers too. I know you have a bright future ahead so just be strong and fight the voices inside. You have so much talent and you such big hearted soul. Love you!

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